TEMU SHREDDER AND THE PINK FOOT CLAN

-

TEMU SHREDDER AND THE PINK FOOT CLAN

Somewhere between Missouri and Oklahoma, a bargain-bin supervillain appears to have ordered organized crime from a questionable app...

Meet Temu Shredder, infamous throughout the region for poorly fitted armor, suspicious business filings, and a helmet that arrived six weeks late with no assembly instructions and a missing screw...

Behind him marches the Discount Foot Clan, a loosely organized army of shell companies, fake storefronts, illegal grow operations, and... questionable imports?

Their master plan?

1. Buy cheap rural property.

2. Ignore every permit, labor law, and zoning ordinance.

3. Move money through seventeen companies named some variation of “Lucky Golden American Freedom Agriculture LLC.”

4. Act shocked when the sheriff arrives just as they are opening a briefcase full of bills.

5. Blame the turtles, of course...

Unfortunately, #Missouri and #Oklahoma are still waiting for their heroes.

#Leonardo is stuck in road construction.

#Donatello is repairing the county computer system.

#Raphael got banned from the courthouse for bringing his sais.

#Michelangelo is still in line at Casey’s, buying more pizza.

Meanwhile, Splinter is sitting beneath a #Flock camera wondering why the government can track every local citizen driving to Walmart but somehow cannot locate an industrial criminal enterprise consuming enough electricity to power #Tulsa and #OKC combined...

Coming soon to a rural county near you:

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: THE RISE OF THE TEMU SHREDDER


Same criminal conspiracy. 
Cheaper armor. 
No warranty.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Body Recovered Near Cowskin Bridge on Grand Lake; Social Media Claim Names Possible Victim

-
Image
Body Recovered Near Cowskin Bridge on Grand Lake; Social Media Claim Names Possible Victim By Miami News-Digest Authorities continue to investigate after a body was recovered earlier this week near the Highway 10 crossing—commonly known as the Cowskin Bridge—at the Elk River arm of Grand Lake O’ the Cherokees. The Grand River Dam Authority (GRDA) Police led the recovery effort, assisted by the Delaware County Sheriff’s Office and the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation (OSBI). Update — Social Media Claim A local woman, Reta Hudson , has publicly stated on social media that the deceased individual recovered from the Cowskin arm is “Roger Griffith.” Hudson identified herself as a family member in her post. As of this publication, however, no official agency has confirmed the identity . GRDA Police and OSBI continue to withhold identifying details pending formal verificatio...
Read more

Miami, Oklahoma Police Officer Arrested in Missouri

-
Image
Miami, Oklahoma Police Officer Arrested in Missouri on Multiple Charges By Miami News-Digest Mount Vernon, Mo. — Landon Cole Corbus, 28, a police officer from Miami, Oklahoma, was arrested by the Mount Vernon Police Department and is currently held without bond in the Lawrence County Jail . He faces charges of domestic assault in the third degree and stealing property valued at $750 or more . Corbus, who resides in Mount Vernon, Missouri, was reportedly intoxicated when he allegedly assaulted a woman , leading to his arrest. Connection to Previous Arrests In his role as a Miami police officer , Corbus was involved in the December 19, 2023, arrest of Robert John Sanko Jr. Sanko was charged with disturbing the peace , and Corbus was listed as one of the arresting officers in the case. View case details on OD...
Read more

Sheriff of Ottawa County Requests OSBI Investigation into Jail Incident Involving Sanko

-
Image
Sheriff Requests OSBI Investigation into Jail Incident Involving Sanko By Inquisitor Miami News-Digest MIAMI, Okla. — Ottawa County Sheriff David Dean has requested an independent investigation by the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation (OSBI) into an incident involving an arrestee, Sanko, at the county jail. Sheriff Dean issued a press release stating that, at this time, it does not appear that Sanko was assaulted while in custody. In his statement, Sheriff Dean confirmed that an OSBI agent has been assigned to the case. He also noted that the Ottawa County District Attorney’s Office has dismissed criminal charges against Sanko, as there was no indication that Sanko could form criminal intent at the hospital. Full Statement from Sheriff Dean The matter. At this time, it does not appear that any person assaulted Sanko. I have requested the Oklahoma Bureau of ...
Read more